Ron Drescher Talks with Katherine about His New Book – A Single Mom’s Guide to Financial Recovery

Katherine: Hello everyone and thank you so much for joining us today on this needs to be said. Our friend, attorney Ron Drescher has come back with a book that I’m totally excited about. He is a bankruptcy attorney. We’ve talked with him on different topics over the years here on “This Needs to be Said”, but today he’s bringing something that I wish I had while I was raising my children. They’re all gone and grown at this point, but I wish I had this and every other single mom, after you hear this interview is going to wish you had it so you’ll have the opportunity to get it. So today I want to welcome back to the show. How are you
Ron Drescher: I’m great. How are you doing?
Katherine: I’m doing fantastic and your book has me excited because, or, the book that’s coming has me excited because there weren’t many things for single moms when I was raising my kids and a lot of times the world has said to me, you need a man or you need some. You know you need help, but they usually say you need a man. And maybe this book could have helped us in lieu of what we didn’t have because a lot of times we know what we need, we know that we could use more help or we should have a partner or you know, it would be better off with a partner, but it’s difficult if that’s not the case of what do we do in the meantime. And you have a new book coming out, Ron, tell us a bit about this book and why you wrote it.
Ron Drescher: The title of the book is “The Single Mom’s Guide to Financial Recovery. And the reason I am writing this book, we’re not quite finished, but we’re definitely going to be. Uh, we’re definitely going to be, and will be able to start shipping it at the beginning of January, is that I think that single moms are terribly underserved segments, uh, and that they need know a single mom who’s facing some financial distress needs, really need three things.

One, of course – is so it’s nice to have money, but you have as much money as you have, unless you know, and you could go out and you could get a second job or a third job or a fourth job or some sort of other side is, uh, but ultimately there is only as much money as there is, so I think you need hope and I think you need information when you’re facing financial distress. And one of the things that I’ve always liked about interacting with women, uh, and, and forgive me if this is a generalization, but, but I find that women tend to respond well initially on an emotional level and then on the informational level. And one of the things that I like about that is, to me that is real life. Um, if you’re going to information solely on that intellectual, informational level, um, I don’t know that that’s going to resonate with an audience or with a reader who, who needs help.

Uh, I think when you, when you are facing a problem, you need to be addressed on an emotional level. Um, so that, that creates that idea of, of hope and even, you know, excitement from the hope which, which are both strong emotional responses and that’s one of the things that I’ve always found really rewarding about, about working with women is that there are these emotional components of the work that make the experience more rewarding and, and, and allows, you know, the clients and the attorney to kind of work on a, on a deeper level than if you’re simply analyzing information and data on a purely intellectual level. So that’s, you know, and I hope that that’s a meaningful answer to your audience because that is definitely something that I’ve found

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Katherine: Well I’m sure that it will be, it’s something that they probably have not thought about consciously, but as women we realized that we are, you know, and, and it is a general statement and it applies to the majority of people in your experience in. So I don’t think that anyone should look at the information that you’re providing in any other light other than this is general. Find yourself in the information. If this does not apply to you verbatim, I understand, but sometimes we have to have the three components or we may have one of the three components, so look and see what you may be missing if you are a single woman, single mom, and you have found yourself in a place where you’re stuck and you’re not able to move forward. Sometimes it just takes a little nudge, a little information or a little whatever you’re missing. Not a lot of it to get you where you’re trying to go and a lot of times we’re trying to go somewhere new because this book is for single women, but how did you become single Have you always been single If so, then you know, approach it that way.

Have you been married now you’re single than approach it from okay, or rebuilding point of view. So some of us are trying to get by, but we’ve never been and some of us are trying to get back at least to where we’ve been. Because when your finances have changed, I get emotional because I couldn’t. I get concerned and I want to know what can we do to solve this problem or how did we get into this situation and we as a single person is me, myself, and I because I’m the one that’s managing everything for me and the children. So how did we get here and how can we get out of this? This is a question that will be in my head, which means I lack information to know how to avoid being in this place again. So I think what you’re about to bring to us is going to be well received and it is needed. So what are some things that can be found in this book but let me pause that question because that’s not sound like you had something to say.

Ron Drescher: Yeah, no, actually it was going to talk about some things that are in the book. One of the things that, uh, one of the realities that my clients find so distressful when they are, uh, find themselves single again or on their own again, is they may have reached some sort of agreement with their ex that, okay, you know, I’m going to pay the credit card bills or you’re going to pay the credit card bills, so now I don’t have to worry about that. I’m going to take on these other obligations or I’m going to take on these other assets or you’re going to take on these assets and then you’re going to pay the credit card bill.

So I’m going to be okay. The truth is that those agreements between spouses or significant others as to who’s going to pay a credit card bill is not binding on the creditor, not binding on the credit card company. So even though you’re, your x might say, okay, as part of this separation or divorce agreement, I’m going to agree to be responsible for paying that Visa Card. The truth is you’re still on the hook for that Visa Card. So if something happens with your ex, your ex has a job loss or your ex just decides, you know what, this really didn’t turn out to be such a good deal for me, so I’m not going to pay that credit card anymore. You’re still responsible for that. A lot of people don’t understand that. They don’t realize that. And so it’s important to know that, first of all, it’s important to know that before you make the agreement to divvy up the debts and it’s also important to know that you’re still going to be responsible for that if something goes wrong with your ex.

So to know that going in would be helpful. And to know that afterwards you’ll spare yourself some very unpleasant news when you get that demand letter from the attorney for the credit card company, when it turns out that you x hasn’t been making those payments that were agreed upon to make. So that’s, to me, one of the most important things that is a, that comes out of thinking about what a single mom facing financial distress has to think about is if you thought you were free from those credit card bills because you’re asking them that may not turn out to be the case. So that’s important. Uh, other things that are important are, you know, how to deal with, uh, expenses that have come up if you don’t, if you now just don’t have the money to pay them. One of the things that we will talk about in the book is bankruptcy and whether or not bankruptcy is a good tool for you if you’re in that position to help cope with your new financial reality.

So that is certainly a thing that I will discuss in the book. Um, you know other things I will discuss in the book there. There is a series that I’ve, um, started, um, called the bankruptcy lawyers, a guide to saving money. And I’m going to include some of the information from that series of blogs that I wrote. For example, is it going to help you to buy a car at an auction and it helps you to drop your high payment vehicle and go look for a car at an auction and there are some techniques that are , really will work great. And there are some things that you’ve got to be super careful about before you jump into that. But if you’re paying, if you’re paying $500, $600 a month on a car, and the money’s just not there for that, I think you do need to find other strategies.

You know, I’ve had a client who gets a ride to work every day and she takes a lift home and she’s been criticized for that and I say, you know what, I think that’s a great strategy for you because you don’t need to be paying a car payments and gas for the car and car insurance and maintenance for the car if you’re hardly driving it. So, you know, it ends up it actually costs about $200 a month over 600. That’s right, that’s right. So by taking a Lyft or an Uber from work every day, that’s not a bad strategy, uh, for, for the right person. So I’m going to be exploring different approaches like that, uh, that are maybe a little bit outside the box that you wouldn’t necessarily think about.

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Katherine: I think this is so neat. It, Ron, I know that we’re going to get into this some more. You promise me that. So I’ll put that out there. So the audience knows to expect more. I know to expect more. I am continually excited about things that cater to a different way of thinking and I kind of felt that when you said she was being criticized for it, everybody has an opinion, don’t they Sometimes you just say too much, let a person be, but you have to have the nerve in this world to go ahead and do what’s best for you regardless of what other people say, just because they would accept you having a five or $600 car payment. So you’d have this car and be independent or whatever. They’re criticizing this lady about you made the decision that’s best for your household. And what you can do to make it work and so you can sleep at night and not be worried. So boys, it is tough and knowing when to, you know, be head strong.

Not head strong. The word to be more intellectual, to be more emotional, to be more of anything else you have to learn that and way out. Does what they say matter over what attorney Drescher is sharing with me some new strategies to make my life work for me because everybody’s life isn’t cookie cutter. Yeah, you got married. Yeah, you got kids, but the part of the cookie cutter that isn’t clear is the. Yeah, you got separated. Oh yeah, you got divorced or yeah, you are the only adult responsible for the household. Now, whatever the change, is change, it happens. How you got there, maybe devastating everyone doesn’t know the right way for everyone, but there is a strategy that may work because your situation is slightly different from your friend that you talked to at the water cooler about her separation. So I want people to be ready to receive your information with an open mind and to receive these books, received this book when it comes out and you’re going to share with us how we can get on a list so that we’re ready when this book drops. But before you shared that one, give me the three keys. We started out in the beginning of this interview and you said there are three things that we should, I guess, engaged when we are considering either rebuilding or approaching this book. And I want to make sure I have them down right.

Ron Drescher: The first and most important one is know your fat. Okay. So many people have, I guess you could call it, you know, rose colored glasses way of looking at their life, but there is no substitute for knowing exactly how much money is coming in and what your fixed expenses are. So the first thing is one, know your facts, okay All right. The second is, don’t be afraid to change. Because I mean, if you’re looking at a situation where you’ve got some, you’ve got all right, so you, you’ve figured out your facts, this is the amount of money that’s really coming in now. How much is it really costing me to live you need to know that and you may need to make very hard choices about that, but make those choices. Don’t let them be made for you. I mean, don’t wait for the eviction to come if you know that you can’t afford that housing, don’t wait.

You know, so one, know your facts to don’t be afraid to make the big decision. And then here’s the third one, get help, get help. There’s no shame in getting help as another reason why I actually, um, I, typically like working with women, um, because I think women are smart enough to know that they need to get help when they need to get help. You know, they don’t have these same preconceived notions that men frequently have, you know, which is that they’ve got to go and do it on their own. Although I’m going to tell you, plenty of women do have those preconceived notions that they need to accomplish this on their own and every once in a while you’re going to be in a situation where you really just need to get help. You need to reach out to the people who care for you and the people who were in a position to help you and say, you know what Ron Drescher: I’m having this problem. You know, what are some possible solutions so know your facts and it’s not necessarily the earth times. Get help know your facts. Make the brave decision.

Katherine: How do we get on the list be alerted when the book is available.
Ron Drescher: Feel free to send an email to, d, r e s, c h e r l a Uh, and, and so that’s the best way to get advanced notice. And also, you know what, if, if you want to rummage around on my website,, some of the information will be there. Um, feel free to order my, my book of file bankruptcy and get rich. That’s, um, maybe, maybe you want to read single mom’s guide first and then file bankruptcy and get rich. Some information will overlap, but that’s also a book that, that a lot of people have found useful.
Katherine: Awesome. Well thank you so much for coming by sharing with me and the audience what you’ve been working on, what’s going to help us, and we’re looking forward to your next visit. So until then, have a super day.
Ron Drescher: Thanks a lot. I always enjoy coming here and talking with you.
Katherine: Awesome, until next time.
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