Though kids look forward to the long, lazy days of summer, for single moms it means a double whammy of no childcare and increased expenses. Here’s how you can earn a living, make sure your children are safe, and even have a little fun.
Finding Child Care
There are camps for nearly every child’s interests but, according to the American Camp Association (ACA), most day camps cost between $200 and $800 per week and overnight camps average $630 – $2000 per week. The good news is that there are much cheaper options available.
The YMCA offers quality, affordable overnight camps. Use their search tool to find the right one for your child.
By using public facilities, local Parks and Recreation agencies are able to provide inexpensive summer programming. Better, they often give financial aid and discounts for multiple children.
Churches, synagogues and other places of worship provide free or very low cost faith-based camps, such as Vacation Bible Schools, and many churches in a community will intentionally schedule their programs for different weeks so that the same children can attend multiple camps. You do not need to be a member of any congregation to enroll your child.
The Salvation Army has totally free, summer camp programs nationwide— featuring activities like sports, swimming lessons, music and art — for low-income families. Check out the Salvation Army for locations near you.
Having Fun
Hopefully your summer won’t only be about working and juggling childcare. With any luck, you’ll have some time — and money! — for fun. But how can you afford fun when money is always tight and now you’re paying for summer childcare expenses?
Keep your side hustle, but adjust your hours. Try getting up a little earlier, before anyone else in your house is awake, and devoting that time to making some extra money. Or, if you’re a night owl, use those late night hours after everyone else is asleep for extra work.
Three Fs — festivals, free events and family (or friends) — will help you stretch your entertainment and travel budgets. Summer is full of festivals and most of them are free. See if you can visit family members or friends who live out of town to scratch your travel itch, and take advantage of free events in their cities while you’re there.
With a little research, some extra hustle and a dash of creativity, you can get your work done, control your spending, and give yourself and your children a great summer, no matter how tiny your budget.
If you’d like more individualized help getting control of your finances, Ronald J. Drescher has been assisting clients with their legal and financial troubles for more than three decades.
You’ve heard it said – time is money. You can’t make money without time and when your time is already stretched thin by work and children, a few minutes of free time are more precious than gold. But what can you do to find that free time? By following the tips below, you’ll squeeze more seconds out of every hour and more minutes out of every day. Those are minutes you can use to have more fun, or to just take a nap. Remember naps?
Stop trying to do it all. Trying to do absolutely everything will leave you exhausted, and exhaustion puts you at risk for getting sick – and you definitely don’t have time to get sick. So listen to your body. Maybe your kids have friends whose moms volunteer for every fieldtrip and make their children lunches with fruit cut to look like flowers. Resist the urge to compete. A strawberry that looks like a rose still tastes like … a strawberry.
Get up on time, and make your bed. Save yourself the stress of playing catch-up all day by getting up on time. Making your bed sets an organized tone for your whole day.
Make a plan and tackle similar tasks in batches. Writing down everything you have to do and grouping similar tasks together makes life easier to manage. Consolidating your activities will allow you to push efficiently through one set of tasks and then move on to the next. Sit down and make all of your phone calls in one setting, then respond to all of your emails, then pay your bills, each at pre-determined times during your day. This week keep you from ping-ponging from one task to another, and wasting valuable time.
But build in buffer time. Don’t assume there will be no traffic, that you’ll leave work on time, or that your child will happily jump into homework and finish it exactly 30 minutes later. Give yourself some wiggle room in your plan so that you won’t have to constantly rearrange your schedule.
Make a daily to-do list. Use an old-fashioned written planner to jot down all the things you need to do each day. Write down the big things and the small things, even tasks as small as unloading the dishwasher, and cross off each thing as you finish it. It is incredibly motivating to see all that you are accomplishing and it will make you push yourself to mark off each next thing. Don’t be surprised when your list is finished before the day is done.
Create a routine, then stick to it. Having a daily routine is a great way to protect your time. Instead of flailing about from one thing to the next, you’ll find yourself automatically accomplishing the things that need to be done.
Adopting a few of these habits will help you organize your day and your responsibilities and maximize the time you have so that you find yourself with time for the things you really want to do.
Want some help getting your financial life in order? Ronald J. Drescher has been assisting clients with their legal and financial troubles for more than three decades.
Getting your finances in order can be overwhelming to consider, especially when you’re already juggling single parenting. Here are five fundamentals that will help you take control of your financial life.
Know what you owe. Add up all your debt–student loans, mortgage, car loans, credit card balances and any other debt. You need to know how much you owe, to whom, how you’re paying it off, how long it will take to pay it off, and the interest rate you’re being charged.
Know how much you make. For a lot of people, their salary is their main income. But you may also have other income sources, such as income from a side job, tips, alimony, child support, and tax refunds. Knowing how much money is coming in to your bank account will help you understand your entire financial picture for budgeting purposes, and it will help you make sure you aren’t overpaying or underpaying on your taxes.
Know how much you spend. Just as you need to know how much is coming in, you definitely need to know how much is going out. This doesn’t mean you have to account for every penny – unless you want to! It’s enough for you to just have a broad sense of how much you’re spending in the major budget categories, such as housing, food, childcare and transportation. Once you know what you have to spend, you can create a budget so that you know how much you have left, then you can look for ways to slash your expenses and start saving!
Manage your own money. This is important for all women, and especially important for single moms. You may have had a man in your life in the past who took control of the finances – and you may have a man in your future who wants to do that, too. The truth is that women tend to live longer than men, so even in the happiest of relationships, the woman may find herself trying to make sense of a financial system she didn’t create after the man in her life is gone. And, of course, not all relationships stay in the “happy” category. You earned your money. Devise a system that makes sense to you, and then manage that system yourself.
Talk to your children about money. There is no shame in explaining your financial situation to your kids once they’re old enough to understand. Choose your words wisely because you don’t want to frighten them, but do explain your reality. When your children understand the need to be frugal, they can help you live within your means. And, learning these finance fundamentals now will set them up for their own healthy financial future.
Want some help putting together a financial plan? Ronald J. Drescher has been assisting clients with their legal and financial troubles for more than three decades.
Bouncing back from financial ruin can seem overwhelming for anyone. It feels like, no matter how far you tighten your belt, your payments barely chip away at the balance. Now imagine you find yourself in that situation because your husband lied to you, and to everyone else.
Lisa Lawler split from her husband after she found out he’d had an affair, but it turned out that wasn’t his only lie. It wasn’t even his biggest lie. A month after their split, Lisa discovered he had embezzled $2.5 million from the healthcare company where he worked. He was sentenced to 24 months in prison and Lisa, at 50 years old, had to start over again. She hadn’t worked in 20 years and took the best job she could find: setting up store displays in a big box store, making $14 an hour.
And then more bad news came in the form of a tax bill. Lisa was on the hook for $384,000 in unpaid taxes on the embezzled income her husband hadn’t disclosed. After six months of pleading, she was finally able to get released from the tax obligation, arguing that she couldn’t have been expected to pay taxes on money she didn’t know they had.
Lisa started a blog, The White Collar Wives Project, to share her experiences and provide a place for other women to share theirs.
Jenny, the wife of another convicted white collar criminal, eventually chose to file Chapter 7 bankruptcy in order to get out from under her investment banker husband’s mistakes. He pleaded guilty to a scheme to defraud investors and agreed to pay $5.3 million in restitution to victims and to forfeit $215,000 in proceeds. He was sentenced to 57 months in prison.
Though Jenny divorced him, their house, cars, and nearly everything they owned was seized to satisfy his debts and, like Lisa, Jenny also got personally hit with an $85,000 tax bill and stuck with a $40,000 credit card bill. She moved back in with her parents and took a job waiting tables. Filing bankruptcy, she decided, was the best way to finally get on with her life.
Starting over, even when your circumstances aren’t as dramatic as Lisa’s and Jenny’s, is never easy. When you’re facing a mountain of debt it can be hard to see how you’ll ever get back in control of your finances. Ronald J. Drescher has been assisting clients with their legal and financial troubles for more than three decades. He can help you find your way back to normal.
Hello and thank you everyone for joining us here on This Needs to be Said. Our friend, attorney, Ron Drescher is here and he’s talking about what … Actually, it’s continuing the conversation. We were talking about his upcoming book. The book is here, so he’s talking with us about his book today, The Single Mom’s Guide to Financial Recovery. You got a preview of that in the last interview I did with him as he was telling us women how we are able to get back on our feet and he has that mapped out for us in the book.
Katherine:
I remember commenting that I wish I had something like this when my children were younger, because there just were not any tools to help me recover. You were figuring it out and life was just happening. As he is an attorney, he’s coming to help women, especially in this case, to be able to look for the help that we need, and to be open to receiving it, and that is not over our head, making it very plain for us to be able to get the help and feel good about that. I want to welcome back to This Needs to be Said, attorney, Ronald Drescher. How are you?
Ron Drescher:
I’m great, Katherine. Thank you for having me.
Katherine:
Thank you for coming back. Now, you were listening to me go on a bit about the book, so I just want to make sure I’m hitting the points just right. Did I learn good last time when we talked?
Ron Drescher:
That was perfect. That was a great introduction into what I’m trying to accomplish with my book.
Katherine:
Awesome. Well, let’s just jump right into it. No more of me talking. I’m excited. The book is here and you’re ready to let people get a copy.
Ron Drescher:
What I’m doing with this book is I’m trying to reach women who might have preconceived ideas about bankruptcy, and negative aspects of bankruptcy, and how that will stop them from taking the steps that are available to help them out of a really challenging situation. Once you get past the introduction, the first chapter is three sneaky, snarly, slimy myths about bankruptcy.
Katherine:
Oh, God.
Ron Drescher:
I use those words-
Katherine:
That’s real creepy.
Ron Drescher:
Yeah. I use those words because so many times people who are struggling will listen to a friend, or a family member, or somebody on the radio, or television and be kind of frightened off, or shamed out of taking steps that would change their life for the better and really give them a pathway to a much better future. I want to beat up on the myths because-
My mouth is wide open. We are doing radio, but I’m like, yeah, people will shame you out of getting the help that you need and it just seems like it’s never good news when you’re in a bad place. How do you get up from here if it’s just all bad? How do people just one day have it better again without getting the help? You do have to hide, or you’re ashamed. If you get help, you’re hiding, and lying, and whatever you’re trying to do to cover so people don’t know that you went to get help or that you received certain help. Yeah, beat them up. Are you going to hit on those, you said slimy-
Ron Drescher:
Yeah, the-
Katherine:
Snarly.
Ron Drescher:
The three sneaky, snarly, slimy myths.
Katherine:
Oh.
Ron Drescher:
The first one is that you’ll lose everything. That’s the first myth. That’s simply not true. Most of the time, in fact, more than 90% of the people who file bankruptcy don’t lose anything; they don’t lose any of their assets. The time before the bankruptcy and the time after the bankruptcy are fairly seamless as far as their lives go. As far as keeping their car, keeping their furniture, and keeping their home, they get to do it. They don’t even notice any difference there. Of course, they’re going to notice that they don’t need to make payments on crippling debt, and the garnishment goes away, and the lawsuits go away. They notice that, but they don’t really have any profound change in the way they’re living their lives as far as assets. That’s the first myth that I wanted to combat. The second myth is-
Katherine:
That’s surprising that you said that.
Ron Drescher:
Is that-
Katherine:
Keep going.
Ron Drescher:
Filing for bankruptcy is a personal failing. An interesting statistic that I discuss in the book is that roughly 57% of bankruptcies in 2009 were a result of medical bills. I mean, that’s just a case where you can’t afford health insurance, or even if you afford health insurance, the deductibles and the copay’s are just overwhelming. So many people have a health insurance plan that is a catastrophic plan, so that if you go into a … If you get into a terrible accident, and you’re sent over to the emergency room, and you have a $20,000 procedure, that’s going to be covered. But you know what? That’s going to leave you with a four or $5,000 deductible and that may not help you that much because you may not have the money to pay that, and so you’re going to find yourself filing for bankruptcy anyway.
Ron Drescher:
Hard to argue that if you’ve got a massive health problem that, that’s a personal failure, or that’s just a … Or, people get laid off all the time in this economy. That’s not their fault if a corporation decides that they want to maximize profits for shareholders so they cut workers and worker’s benefits. I mean, it’s hard to argue that that’s a personal failure. But that is a myth that people say, “Oh, I can’t. I can’t consider bankruptcy because I just can’t. I wouldn’t be able to face myself.” And that’s a shame because most of the time it doesn’t work that way. Then the third myth is that bankruptcy will ruin your financial future. But the real truth is that for most people bankruptcy will cause their credit scores to increase and improve. So many people say, “Oh, my dad, or my uncle, or my cousin said if I file bankruptcy I’ll never be able to get credit the rest of my life.” I hear that over, and over, and over again.
But the truth is, if you do the right things in a year or two after your bankruptcy your credit score will be much higher than it was before you went into bankruptcy and you can start getting cars and credit cards that you’ll use responsibly, where before the bankruptcy you just didn’t have that opportunity. Those are three myths that I feel are really important to tackle so that the people that this book is directed to can get into it and say, “Yeah, you know what? Yeah, they’re speaking to me, because I’ve had these fears.” All right, that’s chapter one.
Katherine:
Oh, that’s just getting in the beginning. Listen, let’s pause for a second. I want you to tell people how they can connect with you to get a copy of The Single Mom’s Guide to Financial Recovery, before we go any further.
Ron Drescher:
Well, they can call our office at 410-484-9000 or you could go on our website at https://www.DrescherLaw.com that’s D-R-E-S-C-H-E-R law.com. Those are the easiest ways to get the copy and I’m happy to send it out to you.
Katherine:
Awesome. It sounds like it’s going to help so many people. Women, our roles have changed so much over the years that we are heads of households whether it by choice or by force and you are trying to juggle everything on yourself, so you may find yourself coming up short. Again, with any other myths that’s out there, or things that may be true, what’s superior, or what we can be allowed to do as women, you’re putting in our hands a system that’s going to help us navigate that. Not make it all go away because life is going to happen. We’re going to have obstacles, but you’re helping us to confidently get over that. It just sounds like a lot of women are going to be helped with this.
Ron Drescher:
Something that I’ve discovered about bankruptcy, and so many people think that only clients who have been irresponsible with debt, and credit cards, only they’re the ones who file bankruptcy. But, what I’ve discovered is that the vast majority of people who file bankruptcy, when they took on a debt they had a plan. They had a plan for paying that debt, either through their work, or through their business, or because they’re married, they’re in a two income family. They’ve got a plan and they stick to the plan, most people. It’s only when the plan goes array, almost always through no fault of their own.
Ron Drescher:
They get laid off, they get sick, they get injured, and they get divorced. Their business goes under because they’re running a mom and pop convenient store and Royal Farm comes in across the street. It’s only when their plan goes array that people find themselves unable to pay their debts and that’s when they need to get help. I feel like that’s a very important thing for clients and potential clients to keep in mind, that give you credit for having made a plan. But if the plan doesn’t go the way you wanted it to go, find out what your options are. There’s no shame in getting help.
Katherine:
Not at all. Since you’ve been coming on the show, it has given me a different perspective of attorneys because you do feel like you’ve been bad. You did something wrong. You’re now in the principal’s office. Something I did put me here and it’s just not that cut and dry in life. It’s a mix of life happening and you have brought a calm to me with being able to say, “Okay. Attorneys aren’t trying to get me, and I didn’t necessarily do something bad, and I can learn something, and they do care.” Because every time you’ve come on the show to talk about any aspect of bankruptcy, you’ve always had the human factor in there. Again, I just think … I may really be trying to sell your book here.
Ron Drescher:
I appreciate that.
Katherine:
I just think that this is amazing to me and it’s just … So much has changed in 20 years. Where were you 20 years ago when I needed this? But I’m glad it’s here and I just, I know it’s going to help so many.
Ron Drescher:
You said something a couple of minutes ago. This isn’t really germane to my book, but I think it’s germane to the overall experience that women are having in the world. 125 years ago, this isn’t that long ago in the scheme of things, it was illegal for women to wear pants. Women got arrested … An 80 year old woman got arrested in the 1880s for wearing pants in public.
Katherine:
Wow.
Ron Drescher:
That’s the way it used to be, but now women, they need to run families, and make decisions, and that’s really … That’s the way it should be. I think women need to have solutions to the problems that face them in the modern world.
Katherine:
That’s what I was trying to say. You said that perfectly. Absolutely, absolutely. You just gave us the tip of the iceberg. You said that was chapter one. We have run out of time, so we’re going to have to have you come back and continue sharing with us about the book, how people are responding to it, and what else we can gain from it if we haven’t already gotten our copy. Okay?
Ron Drescher:
That would be my pleasure. I would love to come back.
Katherine:
Awesome. Thank you so much. Until next time, you have a wonderful day.
Maybe you saw the incredibly inspiring viral photo of Leshia ChampLpms, a single mother of five at her law school graduation? In the photo, Champs stands proudly with her foot on a stack of law books while all five of her children are lined up like stair steps, each holding a chalkboard sign that says they had helped her achieve her goal. It’s impossible to look at their faces, all filled with pride, and not feel moved.
And surely by now you’ve heard J.K. Rowling’s amazing story? How she went from being a struggling single mom on welfare to being the world’s most successful author. “I was a Single Parent, and a ‘Single Parent On Benefits’ to boot. Patronage was almost as hard to bear as stigmatization,” Rowling wrote in an essay. “I would say to any single parent currently feeling the weight of stereotype or stigmatization that I am prouder of my years as a single mother than of any other part of my life.”
Or how about Hollywood hotshot Shonda Rhimes, the mastermind behind Gray’s Anatomy, Scandal, How to Get Away with Murder, and Private Practice. Rhimes isn’t just a powerplayer in an incredibly competitive industry, she’s the single mother to three daughters. “…I want my daughters to see me and know that I am the one who works. I wouldn’t want them to know the me who didn’t get to do this all day long,” Rhimes says.
But there are many, many more stories of single mothers doing incredible things. Most of those women will never become famous, but they’re carving out their own success, day in and day out, in nearly every industry and corner of life.
Consider Lisa Stone. In 2005, Stone, a young, divorced, single mom of three, founded the online platform BlogHer. Not only did she create a fantastic business for herself, but she created a community where other women like herself could launch their own careers and dreams and gain access to wider professional circles and exposure.
And Melissa Kieling. In 2008, Kieling, a single mom of three, founded PackIt after her kids complained that the blueberries she packed in their lunches were warm and mushy. At the time Kieling had virtually no business experience. The closest she’d come to the marketplace, she said, was volunteering at school bake sales. Now she runs an $11 million corporation. “Not knowing which steps to take first nearly paralyzed me with fear, Kieling says. “I overcame this by reaching out to other business owners who could connect me to experts in manufacturing, production and sales. Each key person I met shortened my learning curve and gave me confidence. You’ll be pleasantly surprised by how other small business owners want to pay it forward and see new upstarts succeed.”
In fact, you might be surprised by how many famous and successful women are raising their children without a partner. Check out this list of 100 famous single moms , read about these hard working mamas, these solo mothering successes and these mom-preneurs who turned their wits and work into dollars while raising their kids alone.
Podcasts are a fantastic way to burn up a long commute, stay motivated through a work-out, entertain yourself while you walk the dog, gain insight while you’re cooking dinner—or whenever you have the time to listen and a desire to learn.
But, with more than half a million active podcasts with nearly 20 million episodes available online, finding podcasts that are active, useful, engaging and well-produced can be difficult. To save you the hassle—because who has time for that?—here are three great podcasts for single mothers who want to take control of their finances.
Like a Mother
Veteran money writer, single mom and blogger Emma Johnson takes her popular Wealthy Single Mommy blog and puts it into audio form on her Like A Mother podcast. A former Associated Press Financial Wire reporter and MSN Money columnist, Johnson’s blog and podcast explore issues pertinent to single moms, like investing, entrepreneurship, how to get dads to pay child support, getting out of debt, overcoming a spending addiction, affordable travel with kids, and topics related to business and career, sex, relationships and parenting.
Money Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips for a Richer Life
Host Laura Adams provides short and friendly personal finance advice inspired by current events, social media, listener feedback and everyday interactions. Though her content isn’t exclusively geared to single moms, her female forward perspective and universally helpful advice is useful to women whether they’re raising kids alone, with a partner, or not at all. Each episode is under 15 minutes long, and jam-packed with actionable advice listeners can use right away.
Martinis and Your Money
This award-winning personal finance podcast presents advice on a variety of financial topics, with an emphasis on the issues that tend to really hit home for women. Host Shannon McLay is an entrepreneur, author and personal finance expert and she brings her lighthearted, fun approach to every episode.
Want some more help climbing out of your financial hole? Ronald J. Drescher has been assisting clients with their legal and financial troubles for more than three decades.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream. He looked around the world and decided it could be a better place. There’s probably no more famous dreamer than Dr. King. With his eyes open he told us about his vision for dignity, equality, and justice.
It’s easy to turn off the world. We can let bills pile up unopened. We can ignore calls from numbers we don’t recognize. We can turn away from the bank statements that show we have no money left this month. We can simply close our eyes and pretend that our problems don’t exist. But we all know that just shutting out the light won’t make our life better than it is.
When do our eyes open? Sometimes this happens outside our control. The sheriff knocks on the door with a lawsuit. Our house is scheduled for a foreclosure. Our wages are garnished. Our car is missing from the driveway. We can’t rent an apartment because we have bad credit. It’s awful when we get woken up by a cold slap in the face.
Our eyes can open in other ways too. We can take deep breaths and ask questions. We can get help. We can take a look around every part of our lives and decide “this can be better.”
Your life can be better too. You don’t have to hide from the world, and you can start building a better future. Some people believe that bankruptcy is the hard bottom of a terrible fall, but I don’t. I see bankruptcy as the beginning of a climb towards a better life, a reconnection with the world and an opportunity for financial security.
A new year is a great time for a fresh start. Chances are you’re already thinking of things you can and should do to make this year different and better than the last. These slight changes can make a huge difference in your financial outlook and future.
Just say no…to impulse buys for yourself and your kids. You know the scenario, you’re walking the aisles of a big box store and you see something for only $5, so you toss it in your cart. Or you’re on the couch, scrolling shopping sites on your phone, and you click “Buy It Now” without even thinking. Stop. When you buy a “just $5” impulse item 20 times a month, you’re blowing $100 on things you don’t even need, things you might not even want. Try instituting a 72-hour rule for all purchases, instead. If you wait three days and you still need it, buy it. Chances are, though, after three days you won’t even remember wanting it.
The same is true for your children, but with kids it’s more important than just saving the money. You’re teaching them the attitude they should have toward spending. If you model to them that instant gratification and indulgence are normal and fine, you’re setting them up to have their own spending problems in the future.
On the same note…Live BENEATH your means (and save the rest). Living within your means is good and it’s definitely a start, but it guarantees you and your family a paycheck-to-paycheck existence. Live on less than you make and you’ll start building wealth and security.
Know where your money goes. Until you track your spending and budget for your expenses, you’ll keep hemorrhaging cash—and falling behind.
Don’t shop with credit cards. Paying with only cash or your debit card will keep you disciplined because it’s real money and it hurts to see it go. You’ll likely spend less than you would if you were shopping with a credit card, because you know you can’t just pay it off later.
Love the house and car you’re in. You don’t need to trade up just because you start making more money. The longer you drive a paid off car, the more money you’ll have in the bank. And if you can keep your house payment the same after you manage to land a raise, that’ll be more money you can set aside for the things you really want to do—like retire!
2019 can be your best financial year yet. It can be the year you finally get ahead and start building wealth. All it takes is a slight shift in how you think about money.
Hello everyone and thank you so much for joining us today on this needs to be said. Our friend, attorney Ron Drescher has come back with a book that I’m totally excited about. He is a bankruptcy attorney. We’ve talked with him on different topics over the years here on “This Needs to be Said”, but today he’s bringing something that I wish I had while I was raising my children. They’re all gone and grown at this point, but I wish I had this and every other single mom, after you hear this interview is going to wish you had it so you’ll have the opportunity to get it. So today I want to welcome back to the show. How are you
Ron Drescher:
I’m great. How are you doing?
Katherine:
I’m doing fantastic and your book has me excited because, or, the book that’s coming has me excited because there weren’t many things for single moms when I was raising my kids and a lot of times the world has said to me, you need a man or you need some. You know you need help, but they usually say you need a man. And maybe this book could have helped us in lieu of what we didn’t have because a lot of times we know what we need, we know that we could use more help or we should have a partner or you know, it would be better off with a partner, but it’s difficult if that’s not the case of what do we do in the meantime. And you have a new book coming out, Ron, tell us a bit about this book and why you wrote it.
Ron Drescher:
The title of the book is “The Single Mom’s Guide to Financial Recovery. And the reason I am writing this book, we’re not quite finished, but we’re definitely going to be. Uh, we’re definitely going to be, and will be able to start shipping it at the beginning of January, is that I think that single moms are terribly underserved segments, uh, and that they need know a single mom who’s facing some financial distress needs, really need three things.
One, of course – is so it’s nice to have money, but you have as much money as you have, unless you know, and you could go out and you could get a second job or a third job or a fourth job or some sort of other side is, uh, but ultimately there is only as much money as there is, so I think you need hope and I think you need information when you’re facing financial distress. And one of the things that I’ve always liked about interacting with women, uh, and, and forgive me if this is a generalization, but, but I find that women tend to respond well initially on an emotional level and then on the informational level. And one of the things that I like about that is, to me that is real life. Um, if you’re going to information solely on that intellectual, informational level, um, I don’t know that that’s going to resonate with an audience or with a reader who, who needs help.
Uh, I think when you, when you are facing a problem, you need to be addressed on an emotional level. Um, so that, that creates that idea of, of hope and even, you know, excitement from the hope which, which are both strong emotional responses and that’s one of the things that I’ve always found really rewarding about, about working with women is that there are these emotional components of the work that make the experience more rewarding and, and, and allows, you know, the clients and the attorney to kind of work on a, on a deeper level than if you’re simply analyzing information and data on a purely intellectual level. So that’s, you know, and I hope that that’s a meaningful answer to your audience because that is definitely something that I’ve found
Well I’m sure that it will be, it’s something that they probably have not thought about consciously, but as women we realized that we are, you know, and, and it is a general statement and it applies to the majority of people in your experience in. So I don’t think that anyone should look at the information that you’re providing in any other light other than this is general. Find yourself in the information. If this does not apply to you verbatim, I understand, but sometimes we have to have the three components or we may have one of the three components, so look and see what you may be missing if you are a single woman, single mom, and you have found yourself in a place where you’re stuck and you’re not able to move forward. Sometimes it just takes a little nudge, a little information or a little whatever you’re missing. Not a lot of it to get you where you’re trying to go and a lot of times we’re trying to go somewhere new because this book is for single women, but how did you become single Have you always been single If so, then you know, approach it that way.
Have you been married now you’re single than approach it from okay, or rebuilding point of view. So some of us are trying to get by, but we’ve never been and some of us are trying to get back at least to where we’ve been. Because when your finances have changed, I get emotional because I couldn’t. I get concerned and I want to know what can we do to solve this problem or how did we get into this situation and we as a single person is me, myself, and I because I’m the one that’s managing everything for me and the children. So how did we get here and how can we get out of this? This is a question that will be in my head, which means I lack information to know how to avoid being in this place again. So I think what you’re about to bring to us is going to be well received and it is needed. So what are some things that can be found in this book but let me pause that question because that’s not sound like you had something to say.
Ron Drescher:
Yeah, no, actually it was going to talk about some things that are in the book. One of the things that, uh, one of the realities that my clients find so distressful when they are, uh, find themselves single again or on their own again, is they may have reached some sort of agreement with their ex that, okay, you know, I’m going to pay the credit card bills or you’re going to pay the credit card bills, so now I don’t have to worry about that. I’m going to take on these other obligations or I’m going to take on these other assets or you’re going to take on these assets and then you’re going to pay the credit card bill.
So I’m going to be okay. The truth is that those agreements between spouses or significant others as to who’s going to pay a credit card bill is not binding on the creditor, not binding on the credit card company. So even though you’re, your x might say, okay, as part of this separation or divorce agreement, I’m going to agree to be responsible for paying that Visa Card. The truth is you’re still on the hook for that Visa Card. So if something happens with your ex, your ex has a job loss or your ex just decides, you know what, this really didn’t turn out to be such a good deal for me, so I’m not going to pay that credit card anymore. You’re still responsible for that. A lot of people don’t understand that. They don’t realize that. And so it’s important to know that, first of all, it’s important to know that before you make the agreement to divvy up the debts and it’s also important to know that you’re still going to be responsible for that if something goes wrong with your ex.
So to know that going in would be helpful. And to know that afterwards you’ll spare yourself some very unpleasant news when you get that demand letter from the attorney for the credit card company, when it turns out that you x hasn’t been making those payments that were agreed upon to make. So that’s, to me, one of the most important things that is a, that comes out of thinking about what a single mom facing financial distress has to think about is if you thought you were free from those credit card bills because you’re asking them that may not turn out to be the case. So that’s important. Uh, other things that are important are, you know, how to deal with, uh, expenses that have come up if you don’t, if you now just don’t have the money to pay them. One of the things that we will talk about in the book is bankruptcy and whether or not bankruptcy is a good tool for you if you’re in that position to help cope with your new financial reality.
So that is certainly a thing that I will discuss in the book. Um, you know other things I will discuss in the book there. There is a series that I’ve, um, started, um, called the bankruptcy lawyers, a guide to saving money. And I’m going to include some of the information from that series of blogs that I wrote. For example, is it going to help you to buy a car at an auction and it helps you to drop your high payment vehicle and go look for a car at an auction and there are some techniques that are , really will work great. And there are some things that you’ve got to be super careful about before you jump into that. But if you’re paying, if you’re paying $500, $600 a month on a car, and the money’s just not there for that, I think you do need to find other strategies.
You know, I’ve had a client who gets a ride to work every day and she takes a lift home and she’s been criticized for that and I say, you know what, I think that’s a great strategy for you because you don’t need to be paying a car payments and gas for the car and car insurance and maintenance for the car if you’re hardly driving it. So, you know, it ends up it actually costs about $200 a month over 600. That’s right, that’s right. So by taking a Lyft or an Uber from work every day, that’s not a bad strategy, uh, for, for the right person. So I’m going to be exploring different approaches like that, uh, that are maybe a little bit outside the box that you wouldn’t necessarily think about.
I think this is so neat. It, Ron, I know that we’re going to get into this some more. You promise me that. So I’ll put that out there. So the audience knows to expect more. I know to expect more. I am continually excited about things that cater to a different way of thinking and I kind of felt that when you said she was being criticized for it, everybody has an opinion, don’t they Sometimes you just say too much, let a person be, but you have to have the nerve in this world to go ahead and do what’s best for you regardless of what other people say, just because they would accept you having a five or $600 car payment. So you’d have this car and be independent or whatever. They’re criticizing this lady about you made the decision that’s best for your household. And what you can do to make it work and so you can sleep at night and not be worried. So boys, it is tough and knowing when to, you know, be head strong.
Not head strong. The word to be more intellectual, to be more emotional, to be more of anything else you have to learn that and way out. Does what they say matter over what attorney Drescher is sharing with me some new strategies to make my life work for me because everybody’s life isn’t cookie cutter. Yeah, you got married. Yeah, you got kids, but the part of the cookie cutter that isn’t clear is the. Yeah, you got separated. Oh yeah, you got divorced or yeah, you are the only adult responsible for the household. Now, whatever the change, is change, it happens. How you got there, maybe devastating everyone doesn’t know the right way for everyone, but there is a strategy that may work because your situation is slightly different from your friend that you talked to at the water cooler about her separation. So I want people to be ready to receive your information with an open mind and to receive these books, received this book when it comes out and you’re going to share with us how we can get on a list so that we’re ready when this book drops. But before you shared that one, give me the three keys. We started out in the beginning of this interview and you said there are three things that we should, I guess, engaged when we are considering either rebuilding or approaching this book. And I want to make sure I have them down right.
Ron Drescher:
The first and most important one is know your fat. Okay. So many people have, I guess you could call it, you know, rose colored glasses way of looking at their life, but there is no substitute for knowing exactly how much money is coming in and what your fixed expenses are. So the first thing is one, know your facts, okay All right. The second is, don’t be afraid to change. Because I mean, if you’re looking at a situation where you’ve got some, you’ve got all right, so you, you’ve figured out your facts, this is the amount of money that’s really coming in now. How much is it really costing me to live you need to know that and you may need to make very hard choices about that, but make those choices. Don’t let them be made for you. I mean, don’t wait for the eviction to come if you know that you can’t afford that housing, don’t wait.
You know, so one, know your facts to don’t be afraid to make the big decision. And then here’s the third one, get help, get help. There’s no shame in getting help as another reason why I actually, um, I, typically like working with women, um, because I think women are smart enough to know that they need to get help when they need to get help. You know, they don’t have these same preconceived notions that men frequently have, you know, which is that they’ve got to go and do it on their own. Although I’m going to tell you, plenty of women do have those preconceived notions that they need to accomplish this on their own and every once in a while you’re going to be in a situation where you really just need to get help. You need to reach out to the people who care for you and the people who were in a position to help you and say, you know what Ron Drescher: I’m having this problem. You know, what are some possible solutions so know your facts and it’s not necessarily the earth times. Get help know your facts. Make the brave decision.
Katherine:
How do we get on the list be alerted when the book is available.
Ron Drescher:
Feel free to send an email to info@drescherlaw.com, d, r e s, c h e r l a w.com. Uh, and, and so that’s the best way to get advanced notice. And also, you know what, if, if you want to rummage around on my website, drescherlaw.com, some of the information will be there. Um, feel free to order my, my book of file bankruptcy and get rich. That’s, um, maybe, maybe you want to read single mom’s guide first and then file bankruptcy and get rich. Some information will overlap, but that’s also a book that, that a lot of people have found useful.
Katherine:
Awesome. Well thank you so much for coming by sharing with me and the audience what you’ve been working on, what’s going to help us, and we’re looking forward to your next visit. So until then, have a super day.
Ron Drescher:
Thanks a lot. I always enjoy coming here and talking with you.
